


Charity

by yuffiehighwind



Series: An Eternity in Cheese Country [15]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Dual Identity, Gen, Milwaukee, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-01
Updated: 2000-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-07 10:30:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3171542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Discord made a dramatic pose, snapped her fingers, and nothing happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charity

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the 'fic series "An Eternity in Cheese Country," and here's why - after they were killed by Callisto and Xena, the souls of Strife, Discord, and Deimos were reincarnated in the late 20th century into three humans named Steve, Veronica, and Dave.
> 
> Takes place between spring and autumn of 1998.
> 
> Originally composed in 2000; edited January 2015.

"What I’m saying is that you can live here. With me."

"And with the Communist guy?"

"And with the Communist guy."

"No. No way. Uh-uh. Never. Never in a million years."

"Why not? You got any better ideas? Anyone else offering you the chance to sleep under a roof, in a warm bed, with Doritos aplenty and--"

"Strife, I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going to--"

"Then where ya gonna go? The gutter?"

"I’ll find a place. I’ll teleport myself to--"

"Discord, have you been listening to me at all? You're a human now! You  _can’t_  teleport! You  _can’t_  zap things with lightning! You're powerless, Discord!"

"I refuse to believe that! Maybe Xena--"

"Maybe Xena what? Maybe she  _didn’t_  decapitate you? Maybe she gave you some sorta concussion and you're dreaming all this? Discord, you died, and something brought you back, and it was for a pretty damn good reason, probably. Freezing to death'll just bring you back to where you started, and maybe not even that. Maybe after this, there’s nothin’. Maybe ya get two tries and that’s it. I’m not an oracle. I don’t know these things."

"You don’t know anything, Strife, except how to fuck things up."

"Fuck things up? Discord, was it  _me_  who got you and everyone in our family killed? I was the victim of a psychotic blonde bimbo’s PMS attack. I was gone  _long_ before you and the family decided to go on that ‘Kill Xena’ suicide mission."

"How do you know about that?"

"Some guys, uh, Barry and Larry told me. Well, it’s not their _real_ names, but I kinda promised not to tell--"

"Spill it, maggot!"

"Hey, hey, hey! All in good time, all in good time."

"The time is  _now!_  Who told you what happened?!"

"Discord, it was these two guys I met at the airport. They told me everything. Everything about Eve bringing the Twilight, Athena’s plan to kill Xena, and Zeus’ death and Ares’ betrayal."

"How could they know? How could they possibly know?"

"They said…they said they were fallen angels."

_"What?"_

"Fallen…They’re spirits or something. They got sent here long ago ‘cause they screwed something up. Look, I don’t know, they wouldn’t tell me anything else about themselves, but they told me all about you and they knew what I was."

"Even so. Even if you know what happened. Even if…even if that Communist guy's got a nice place to live, why should I accept your offer? I can survive perfectly well on my own."

"Just in case you hadn’t noticed, Discord, you're soaking wet, dressed in a fuckin’ burlap bag, and screaming like a claustrophobic cat in a trash compactor about how big and bad a goddess ya are."

As Discord puzzled over the last comment about the cat, he continued, "You're gonna end up hurt, you know. You're  _not_  the big bad goddess of chaos anymore."

"I may be in rags and I may look pathetic but the one thing I still have is my pride, and I refuse to let go of that. The answer is no, Strife. I don’t take charity. From anyone. Especially not from  _you_."

With that said, Discord stood up, still tightly clutching the quilt around her shoulders, and headed for the door. Just as her hand reached the doorknob, Strife shoved himself between her and the door.

" _Move_ Strife," she demanded. He shook his head and stood strong, meeting her furious gaze with his own determined look.

" _I said MOVE_ ," she bellowed. He still refused to move, so Discord did something that was always effective on him. She let out a long, low, menacing growl.

Strife wondered how that could be possible with a human larynx, but even the perplexity of how the short female did it couldn’t detract from the growl’s effectiveness. Strife tried to stifle a whimper. He was still somewhat afraid of her, after all these centuries. Discord could feel his fear. She slowly backed away, just barely avoiding a weird looking piece of décor called a beanbag chair. With a smug grin, Discord chuckled softly.

"I always hated using doors anyway," she said. "They’re so… _cumbersome_." Strife relaxed and leaned against the door. So she was going to stay after all. Good for her, dangerous for him.

Discord made a dramatic pose and snapped her fingers.

Nothing happened.

The smug smile quickly faded and anger once more boiled to the surface. Discord let out an anguished shriek.

_"FUUUUUUCK!!!!"_

The shout was so loud, the impact of the sound waves made Strife jump and accidentally kick the beanbag chair. Biting his lip, he sank down onto it and let out the breath he’d been holding. Discord jumped up and down and threw a fit of temper.

"So, um, about those Doritos..."

"Where’s the _fucking_ wine?"

Strife pointed to the kitchen cabinet.

Yeah, she was going to stay after all.


End file.
